In search of deep people……
Be prepared, I am going to tell a story on myself.
One of the best disciplines is one you don’t hear thrown around in most Christian circles. The uber spiritual will use words like “quiet time” and “prayer closet” and “I get up early to be in the word” or if you are a woman they will say things like “Beth Moore and inductive Bible study” to tip you off that they are super spiritual. If you did a poll of most western evangelicals and asked them what are the primary ways they interact with God I am willing to bet they would say, prayer and reading their Bible. Those are good, great even…..but I submit that for a time you try something new.
I read a little book about ten years ago that radically changed my view of Christan spirituality. Its author is now one of my modern day heroes. The Celebration of Disciplines by Richard Foster. This book walks you through various disciplines that you NEED to achieve spiritual depth and I will tell you there are a heck of a lot more then just reading your bible and praying. Many of them you may of never heard before as they have been dead in western civilization. You know little things like silence, solitude and fasting. What a great thing for pastors to teach on for some time. Silence, solitude and fasting. Ha, what if one Sunday, in a traditional Sunday service you had to be quiet the whole time and actually practice how to still your mind and focus only on the Lord and the pastor would actually lead you through how to do that! I giggle just thinking about it, or what if you had to bring your day planner in on a Sunday morning and everyone mark off a weekend that they would go away by themselves for the express purposes of being with the Lord by yourself? What if you did a fasting experiment as a church family? Everyone committing to fast something fairly challenging, not as a means to pray for some building program or something like that but as a means to crack up all the hard places in your hearts collectively so that as a community you might see a deeper move of God on every level individually and corporately. Well it is something fun to think about.
Over the years I have fasted many things for different reasons for different lengths of time. Recently, I had been hearing a little knock about laying something down for lent. Mike and I decided we would lay down refined sugar for lent. No desserts or sugar in coffee or tea. Seems like no big deal right. Read on! I wanted to do something that I would have to look in the face everyday several times a day. And every day, several times a day, I asked that God would be God in my life and that I would not be in charge or in control. Here is a little story.
So first let me tell you about my sinfulness. During the move, with all the stress, I WILLFULLY took a sweet treat, went into a corner and turned my back like a 2 year old and ate it and in my heart I said, “I DON’T GIVE A DAMN!”. Yeap, sorry….. that is what I said in my heart. I told you I was telling on myself. Then I justified to myself about it all day. I am stressed, this move is ridiculously out of control, I need to relax. I think I said every thing in the book. And then I did it the next day and the next day, until on the third day, I was so convicted by the Holy Spirit that I confessed to Mike and we prayed, and I got real honest before the Lord. The reality was, I wanted to be comfortable more then I wanted the presence of God in my life and I got sick to my stomach. I cried and I cried and I cried. I talked to a dear sweet friend who always speaks deep truth to me as I was right in the midst of the guilt stage and she told me rejoice. It kind of threw me on my butt for a second. What rejoice? You have the presence of God so deeply right now that you feel so deeply convicted, be thankful that he is here and calling you to him. It is a horrible feeling to know in the depths of who you are, in the midst of challenging circumstances that you could choose comfort over God. Oh how I need Jesus. In a flash, I felt Peter’s pain. Oh I know you say it is only sugar…. relax, calm down. But I will say to you I denied God in my heart just like Peter did and you know what He came and rescued me, pursued me anyway in my willfulness. Isn’t’ that what this whole resection thing is about?
Now I will say there were 2 occasions we specifically ate dessert in a relational situation that we felt we were supposed to, but other than that we told our ourselves “no” over and over again for 40 days. Mike seemingly sailed right through. I crawled through on my hands and knees begging for grace every day. I will say last night, we had a piece of birthday cake to celebrate my birthday and it was a bit sad for me. Sad because I knew that our fast was ending. Isn’t that interesting! It was such a struggle for me in such a good way over and over again over the last 40 days and then it was over. I will say I am going to miss the constant awareness of how much I need God on every level of who I am. Fasting takes you out of the center of the universe real quick and squarely places Jesus on the throne in such a deeply tangible way. Well it did for me and maybe it will for you too.
Which brings me to think that I am moving into a season of learning through fasting. Every Christian really goes through seasons of learning at different levels with different disciplines. I thought I would throw out a few new ones and see how they may bring you into a deeper place with the Lord. Now I am waiting to see if God tells me anything else I need to lay down so I can pick up more of him.
Let me know what he is whispering to you.
The tomb is empty people! Let’s throw a party……
