I’ve seen the light….She’s RAD!
Our middle child is a girl bookended by brothers. She is tough and can throw down with the best of them. I work hard at taking her on “princess” dates and doing special little things so she can see through modeling that being a girl is great. I understand that she will learn about her femininity through watching me. She does like to wear dresses and look pretty, just not overly girly in anyway.
We enrolled her in ballet, so she could have girl time, and be prissy and wear pink etc. You know a break from all this boy stuff around here. The testosterone, drowns us out at times. Guess what. She could care less. In fact, she doesn’t really ever want to go, and would rather stay home and play soccer with her brothers. I do have a loose game plan on things that I am exposing her to, and working with her on in regards to the wonders of being a woman but I am now seeing that ballet doesn’t have to be one of them.
Here is the reality. She is just like me. She doesn’t really like pink, she told me the other day she doesn’t like princess stuff. It is “dumb”, a word we don’t use so I am sure she really meant it. The other night we were sitting outside playing and she asked if she could get the skate board to skate. The hysterical thing is, it is her brothers and he never touches it. She is rockin’ on it. Honestly, she is a total athlete, even over the boys. The boys are athletic and do well at athletic things, but she is a natural at almost everything and has crazy spacial awareness.
So I gotta say, I think it is totally RAD to have a skater chic for a daughter. We are discontinuing ballet. I agree that we should require children to do certain things even if they don’t like it because it is good for their character training…like cleaning their room, and eating their vegetables, not something that we are stretching to pay for and she isn’t really diggin’. We are rethinking something else I can get her involved in that would nurture her feminine side, that she will be down with.
Any ideas for an athletic, rad, little 5 year old who thinks she is invincible and can do anything she puts her mind to.
Dang, I want to be like her when I grow up!
Yes…gymnastics!!! My 4 year old is much like your little munchkin…she can be a total tomboy when she wants to. She absolutely LOVES gymnastics and while she is learning grace and posture and balance…she is also getting to “jump off of stuff” and “swing from stuff” and run inside and jump on a huge trampoline! It takes determination to not give up when you can do a backflip at 4. We love to watch her week after week as she gaines a little more control over those muscles and we see her make progress on whatever skill they are currently working on. She doesn’t want to become a “gymnast”…as in compete. She just loves loves loves to go every week and learn something new, get some good exercise, and have a blast doing it!!
I wanted so badly for Aly to take ballet lessons, but it just isn’t her! She is a stick of dynamite and you just can’t put a stick of dynomite in with an arrangement of candles!!! LOL
I do hope you find her outlet!!
Blessings~
Shelley
Comment by Shelley — November 13, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
looooovely!! seriously amber… i must admit i cringed when you said that you put her through ballet lessons to get in touch with her girly side!!! this girl rocks. beyond rocks. and i have to add… for me, i think if boys want to play barbies and girls play with tonka trucks … why the heck not? seriously… all this CRAP (sorry) about stereotyping toys and colours to sex is just that- crapppppp. tis what i think anyways. i also think that maybe just let her go crazy on being this athletic skate chic.
anyway, enough with the stereotyping topic because i could probably go on more. =)
Comment by leah — November 13, 2008 @ 3:48 pm
<p>Thanks Shelly for the gymnastics thought, she has done it in the past and loved it, so maybe we will head that way again. I will look into that one. </p>
<p>Leah you are crackin’ me up…”put her through ballet lessons”. It wasn’t so much to put her in touch with her feminine side, as it was to get her in touch with other girls. She only has brothers, ALL of our homeschool friends are boys and her homeschool PE class, she is the only girl in her group…(and she still whoops all their backsides). So it was more getting her around girls her age. </p>
<p>I am all for letting her do whatever she wants to, and encouraging what I see. I am also for giving her a healthy dose of being “okay” with being feminine and being around girls. Do we teach our daughters how to have healthy female relationships, cuz I see mostly whack a doodle stuff starting in the first grade. I know from experience, relating to and playing around dudes a ton growing up, you can kick it hard with the males but are all out of whack with the female relationships and even more out of whack at embracing pretty things because you see them as weak. It is one of Satan’s sneaky little tricks whispering lies to ladies from day one. I hate it…..It stinks and I am fighting hard for my little sweet pea now. I am trying to head off that imbalance at the pass. I realize I may be thinking WAY too hard about this, and I KNOW that God will lead her gently through the maze of being a woman in His kingdom. I am just trying to faithfully assist as he leads me.</p>
<p>Shoot, I didn’t wear pink until I was 30 when my girl friend gave me one of her old shirts and I wore it cuz it fit and I hated everything else I owned and then a bagilion people commented on how the color looked nice with my skin. I still don’t wear it a ton, but I don’t think it is weak anymore. </p>
<p>What does it mean to be feminine truly, cuz Lord knows it isn’t playing with a Barbie or wearing an apron and pearls or ballet. I hear ya about tonka trucks, although I am not so sure I want my boys playing with barbies for obvious reasons, I don’t even want Chloe playing with Barbies or Bratts. I will and do let them cook and clean with me…heck I expect it.</p>
<p>I could go on and on about being a feminist in the kingdom of God. Maybe I will. Thanks for all the thoughts. More to come.</p>
Comment by Amber(Homeschool Diva) — November 13, 2008 @ 4:49 pm
Interesting thoughts Amber. When my girls were little, due to the influence of my husband and their two older brothers, they were total tomboys - mismatched clothes, unkempt hair, and cowboy boots instead of the matching pink outfits and ribboned ponytails I had envisioned.
While their dolls and barbies collected dust, they each had their own motorcycle before they were 6. They also lost interest in dance lessons during first grade. They enjoyed a few friendships, but by 5th grade, they had little tolerance for the queen bee/mean girls pecking order and drama that were a regular part of most social circles. Perhaps because they had each other (twins) they weren’t as susceptible to that kind of peer pressure.
It was my husband’s turn to be disappointed when they broke the news to him that they were no longer interested in dirt-bike riding and hunting in spite of all the great gear he bought for them. As they entered the teen years, they signed up for dance again, this time because they wanted to. When they turned 14, practically like clockwork, they turned into stereotypical prissy teenage girls, spending hours lamenting about their hair.
This Christmas, one of them will be the sugar plum fairy in the Nutcracker. It is an awesome honor and opportunity for her, but not something that we ever pushed her toward. As far as them learning femininity, I guess my point is that there will be many unexpected twists along the way.
My hope for all of my children has been to create an environment where they could explore their interests and blossom into their unique talents and abilities. The thing that I have been most intentional about is protecting them from the influences that would discourage their freedom to develop and attempt to limit or conform them. You are already doing such a great job of that with all 3 of yours.
Sheesh, I hardly ever comment and then leave this long-winded piece. I mostly just wanted to encourage you from the other side. Chloe will continue “becoming” with many interesting twists along the way. With the incredible example of her parents, I have no doubt that she will find her way to becoming the woman God made her to be, both strong and feminine.
Comment by grace — November 13, 2008 @ 9:22 pm
Thanks Grace for the big picture encouragment.
With parenting, every few months it is readjust, readjust, readjust. I thought that would change after they were out of diapers. Nope - it stays the same. Maybe she will swing back to dance. As long as I keep watching and observing what they need at any given time, asking for guidance then leading/directing as called, we will all make it through.
Prayerfully, everything I do know is laying train tracks for relationship that will endure. Whispering little bits of truth about who she is and why God asked us to name her Chloe Faith.
I do know that Jesus is laying things out for me now, to casually introduce to her, that will grow into strong trees of truth about femininity now with her, so pray with me that I will do that faithfully.
Peace to you and yours.
Comment by Amber(Homeschool Diva) — November 13, 2008 @ 10:07 pm
What I love is that she is in a dress skate boarding! Too cute! Sophie loves the boy stuff and hardly plays with her own things- except for babies- that is her love. However, now she is being a little priss and wants Barbies (uhh!) and every little pink thing she sees on TV. It does not matter what you do, they just become who they were meant to become!
Comment by Rebekah — November 13, 2008 @ 11:58 pm
I know I thought that was funny too. You are right they will become who they are, we just need to help knock the rough edges off:-)
I love even more that she is a girl rockin’ the skateboard in a uber cute dress:-) Fierce, Fashion Diva that she is.
Comment by Amber(Homeschool Diva) — November 14, 2008 @ 9:27 am
Ok, so I thought the gymnastics thing too, but you could go unconventional, not girly, but how about karate? She could kick some serious booty there and be so empowered…that might be a really good thing…and maybe you could even do it together…??
Or, how are the waves down there? Surfing? That’s all.
Comment by Emily C — November 14, 2008 @ 3:52 pm
Honest to Pete Em, you are my Gurrrlll! I was thinking karate too. I am not sure I want to take it with her, cuz those classes are wicked hard. I watch Jax in his class and all I think each time is,”There is no way I could do all this junk.”
We are enrolling in a surf camp this summer. She caught her first wave a few months ago, and now it is , “Mom are there waves?” all the time. I just hate carrying that dang long board to the beach if there are not waves….pretty much BITES!
I told her the other day I want to take her on a Mommy daughter photo shoot, and I am thinking surfer chic ALL THE WAY!
Comment by Amber(Homeschool Diva) — November 14, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
I like the whole idea of lessons for “body” stuff, like dancing, karate, etc. When she’s older, she may really like fencing or Irish dancing. Wish we had an ice rink close by! Julia did Esther Center ballet for a year, after doing community center ballet for 2 years. She is a natural dancer, but didn’t want to commit to 4 days a week! Who would??? The years of ballet have given her poise and elegant movement skilz. Glad we did it and glad we stopped.
Comment by Carolyn — November 30, 2008 @ 4:18 pm
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